Marlon’s World

I wanted to write something substantial or something light or something amusing but I can’t. I have so many things running through my head and I can’t seem to sort them out into a meaningful, tangible form.

For one, I’m very disgusted with Philippine politics. No matter how one deodorizes it, it simply stinks. What we have now are politicians who would be so ready to jump to the other camp sans ideological and program-based reasons for doing so because their former allies chose other people for their lineup, politicians who used to be actors or sportsmen and who now wade through political mud simply because they could muster enough votes for the entire group, and politicians who have legitimate platforms and objectives who are marginalized, harassed, subjected to all forms of maltreatment and pitted against shoo-ins who strangely enough have the same surname or monicker. If this is not enough to make you puke, just scan the news on political groups in the provinces that belong to the same party but are divided among themselves because everyone wants to be the leader. If one needs a title to help people, he should not be voted for public office.

Then of course, there are more personal stuffs. The long process of disengagement has begun for me. I’m not seeing friends in Valladolid who are going back to their countries after their studies in Spain. I know it would happen and probably, I should not be sad nor surprised at all. But I just can’t help it. You think at the back of your mind that it’s gonna be the last time you’ll see them, no matter how many e-mail addresses and phone numbers and promises of visiting each other’s country are exchanged.

The same is true with Filipino friends. Back home, I’ve received word that friends have settled down, that they have had children, that they have migrated to another country. I feel that I’ve been kept out of it all. Could I still relate to their stories once I come home? Here in Spain, I feel that friends have been living their own lives, lives without me in them. I know that it’s normal and that everyone has the right to choose how to live his life, but it’s just sad to feel that people are drifting away slowly.

Some thoughts. Not coherent at all. Broken promises, unrequited love, unshared regrets, insecurities and anger unvented, and an envy that cuts to the very core of one’s being.   

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